1. |
Growing Pains
04:28
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he will be the death of me
the death of things i no longer want to be
the night is not young no more
im trying to save myself
december hung by a thread
but i woke up and i am still alive
a troubling time, a golden age
it ain't too fun
straight-forward thinking has long since been mangled
i'm lovesick and boring, unarmed and entangled
the forces of evil are unkind but at least they're interesting
so much for love these are violent memories
angry at the tickle at the back of my throat
just a few reasons
i'm no coming out tonight
looking at dinner
will this make me thinner and happy and dapper and chatty?
heartbreak
heartache
no sleep
no wake
heartbreak and drug-take
i am now afraid of the dark
i can't let go
i can't let go
i need to control what i say
tying the rope around the tiger
clamping the jaws closed
or else he will be
the death of me
i am not walking im lurking and stalking
im not responding
breaking and bonding
there's something im learning
you wont hear the story
i dont want the glory
i just want the self-respect
you have half of me
i can't let go
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2. |
After Party
03:41
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he breathed in the colour of the walls when he walked in
casting a lonely shadow of the girl in the corner
with the nice face
sadly her gruesome personality defeated the nice face
he found out the hard way, the only way
suddenly all he could hear was the clock and the breathing
i hate this evening
the lights were on but he was in darkness
done and dusted and dead in the ground
i feel im lifting up from something very low down
oh no no
this cant be real
cheery exterior, delirious interior
materialism isn't wrong, shut up and get outta my face
the believe that a thing is real
real, real but untrue
swelling in his acidity, lucidity at his fingertips
breaking on the shores of his ungraspable desires
it's true true true but unreal
blank blank immovable despair
but i wouldn't die on purpose would i?
the after party is nigh
oh no no
this can't be real
let the distance deepen
let the freedom ripen
i don't feel like it
i don't feel like it
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3. |
Singing Lessons
04:31
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don't say sorry like that again girl
don't apologize to the audience
they owe you, you're showing them your life on a plate
and you tell it so much it becomes something you hate
and every time will arise
the burden of the damages you can't the decibels
the thought of a singing lesson
brings me down in tears
remember when we used to drink cherry schnapps in maths
something's coming over me
i never got hungry till my engine died
you know i said i bought it? i didn't, i lied
it's so morbid, looking for it
down here somewhere on the floor
in my dream an angel told me what is going on
she said it doesn't make you happy anymore
it doesn't make you happy anymore
he used to play bass in a band and he don't like the letter e
so he don't think that much of me, says he:
don't tell me what i can and i can't
i may be feeble but i'm free
didn't he ask if he could have a sip of your vanilla milkshake
you may be free but you're filth
i call anger a skill
tell her to get back to the house that she sleeps in
and if in the morning it's sunny
then i owe you a quid
and if you don't come out sweating it wasn't worth the money
i can't breathe
you should get some singing lessons
turn this place upside down
don't trust anyone until they've shown you their dark side
it doesn't make me happy anymore
a sunset on a city scape
an oil painting in a living room
the very image that a little girl would look upon
want in her eyes
the very same place that would tear her from them
and strangle her innocence
you would no longer know her if you saw her
you would no longer know her if you saw her
it doesn't make me happy anymore
you should get some singing lessons
turn this place upside down
don't trust anyone until they've shown you their dark side
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4. |
In A Black Room
04:52
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i'm here watching this become part of my history
i will not pretend but i will distance myself
and wait and later
pick out the nasty parts
and give them back with rhythm
my entire recollection
become bleak and underwhelming
closer to the truth
but i got a bassline in my stomach
and i wonder where you are now
twist the truth and make it hate you
i am a walking punch line
twist the truth and make it hurt you
i am a walking punch line
the room gets darker
and everything seems louder
the room gets darker
and everything seems closer
in a black room
i made friends with you
in a perfect world
you would know me by now
but you've got no idea who i am
i could be anyone
you chose this
i'm in the living room
turning to dust
let go of my hand
turning to the comfort of the animal inside
always watching
and holding my other hand
the room gets darker
and everything seems louder
the room gets darker
and everything seems closer
in a black room i made friends with you
in a black room i made friends with you
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5. |
Wet Denim
03:57
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soaking wet denim
sticking to the skin on her thigh
after some time to think
she stuck the photos on her wall
so if you never met her
why do you wear her sweater
he couldn't see in darkness so
he chased the devil out of her
to break up with a suicide risk
is a dangerous game
to split up with a time bomb girl
is a risk that a boy must take
she thought she was awake
but she didn't really know
her mighty resistance
ended when she said something
her heart started beating at a different rhythm
when he made that face
but he put his face back in its place
while she hid in the bathtub
music is more important than love
and we're playing at the albert
so she put her red dress on and
let's face the music
my nails are bitten
got the strength of a kitten
slumped on a chair
poisoned and polluted
poisoned and polluted
poisoned and polluted
i want to leave
but i can't move because my jeans are soaking wet
to wake up with a suicide risk is a dangerous game
to split up with a time bomb girl is a risk that a boy must take
to break up with a suicide risk is a dangerous game
to wake up with a time-bomb girl is a risk that a boy must take
to escape
he couldn't see in darkness
so he chased the devil out of her
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6. |
Christmas Dinner
03:05
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i'm still awake
and it looks like morning
well that sure is a waste of darkness
i'm still alive
but i'll ignore that for now
my plan is foiled
and my thoughts are plagued
as i thought about everything you said
when i was in bed wishing i was dead
but if the words were to vanish
i would be free
and you'd be free from me
but they never will
cos i'm not your friend
i wasn't ready for that
and i'm not ready for this
yes you are
don't deny it
there is nothing to pretend to be you know you are
you're the cold wet scraps of a christmas dinner
although you scrub up well and sometimes
write a banging tune you you
just don't get it do ya
i can't even look at you anymore
when my voice was my only free hand
i still pretend to be happy
but he was so extremely docile it was hostile
and every day i invent a new demeanour just for you
but i know you know i'm just a dispirited little girl
and i'm tempted to give up on you now
cos this just won't last me through the winter
so you might as well quit
if you haven't got it
yeah you might as well quit
if you haven't got it
yeah you might as well quit
if you haven't got it
yeah you might as well quit
if you haven't got it
when my voice was my only free hand
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7. |
Untitled
03:02
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rife with shame
rife with confusion
it curls up and cries on the bathroom floor
but none of this really means anything anymore
i can tell already if i don't stop this now
i'll ruin your life as you know it again
i'm gonna fuck it all up again
so savour this tranquility
as i quietly untie the tenderness
until everything is undone
left to rot under wind and sky
they will take it
they will take us
they will plant these oceans between you and i
i lost myself
everything undone
undone
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8. |
Heart-Shaped Bucket
04:17
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when you wear your headphones are you listening to what is going on inside your head and waiting for the next order?
in a place made of years and years of madness, sadness, ecstasy and stardom i am sitting in here in boredom
where did i go wrong?
an angry man is learning how to string his words together to attack a man with every right and reason to destroy him
there's a word i wanna find so every time i have to tell you why i'm losing it and turning something absolutely normal into oceans of eternal retribution and a heart shaped bucket full of puke
i can tell you
heart-shaped
bucket
heart-shape
heart-shaped
tied her own shoelaces together
and cried when she fell in the mud so she threw all her money down the well and asked bluntly to be happy
and it spat back out a t-shirt and a gram of k with no receipt
i'm working up to something that would usually offend you
cause i want to know if you are still alive inside the point you're making
breathe down my own neck
slapping pride in the face
you're not worth your reputation
i'm not worth my own flesh
bring me my fairytale
written down
burn it
bucket
heart-shape
heart-shape
time is not a healer
only a painkiller
i was once a fighter
where is my soldier
where is my soldier
where is my soldier
where is my soldier
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9. |
I'm Still Here
03:55
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better than summer hear
you mouth the words to me
but i cannot hear you
clinging to a setting sun
you said something to me
and i didn't know what to say
better than flying
better than a lie-in
but it's not mine
it's good it's good but it's just not mine
my work is nearly done
get on the rising sun
but i will never forget you
i will never forget you
and this is
this is where it ends
but i'm still here
this is
this is where it ends
but i'm still here
there are some days when
i know i won't say much but
you detached yourself
quietly and cruelly
you could've told me
oh you could've told me
oh i tried to work my way
i tried to work my way back in
but i waste my time
i wasted so much time
cos you don't love me
and i thought you did
and this is
this is where it ends
but i'm still here
and this is
this is where it ends
but i'm still here
trouble is where the boy is
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10. |
Stage Fright
05:30
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brought here by something that knew me like i was its only child
the analyst forever undead, rooted in the head says i can trust you
but i dont think i can
stretching you, twisting you, flying you like an elastic band or dry ice
or something that has no shape
he's mellow but more like a pale yellow than a stale hello
then you ask me
'why are you crying and what is wrong with your face'
i said 'i think i swallowed a massive chunk of it'
i think i'm lucky to be human
this experience, emotion, ability
is all mine
why would i waste it
constrain it
restrict it
can i not just explore it and see it?
after all
it doesn't mean a thing in truth
after all
it doesn't mean i thing in truth
you made a man out of me
suffering is easy anyone can do it
it's learning from it
that is the skill
i trailed a boy along a roadside for miles
and when we reached the lake
he drowned me
there's no point but i'm still gasping for air
screaming this is unfair
this is unfair
but this really is
just a wild goose chase
anyone can see that there is love in the midst of this
why else would i be
crying and laughing
there was a moment
sometime last week
when the temperature dropped
and my mind was spotless
the moon was the centre of attention that night
suffering is easy
anyone can do it
it's learning from it
that is the skill
let's face it
the is unpleasant
let's face it
the is unpleasant
you made a man out of me
i never wanna see you with a woman in a dressing gown
but i don't wanna see you shout to a bedroom window in tears
letting you slip away into the mist of another world
into a life apart from mine
but i'll still be beside you in time
letting an eyelid droop till it's closed
watching the sea wash over
a painting we painted together
but i'll take comfort in your freedom from me
boy you made a man out of
you made a man out of
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