Heart-Shaped Bucket

from The Indignity Disco by Elsa Hewitt

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lyrics

when you wear your headphones are you listening to what is going on inside your head and waiting for the next order?
in a place made of years and years of madness, sadness, ecstasy and stardom i am sitting in here in boredom
where did i go wrong?
an angry man is learning how to string his words together to attack a man with every right and reason to destroy him
there's a word i wanna find so every time i have to tell you why i'm losing it and turning something absolutely normal into oceans of eternal retribution and a heart shaped bucket full of puke
i can tell you

heart-shaped
bucket
heart-shape
heart-shaped

tied her own shoelaces together
and cried when she fell in the mud so she threw all her money down the well and asked bluntly to be happy
and it spat back out a t-shirt and a gram of k with no receipt
i'm working up to something that would usually offend you
cause i want to know if you are still alive inside the point you're making
breathe down my own neck
slapping pride in the face
you're not worth your reputation
i'm not worth my own flesh
bring me my fairytale
written down
burn it

bucket
heart-shape
heart-shape

time is not a healer
only a painkiller
i was once a fighter
where is my soldier
where is my soldier
where is my soldier
where is my soldier

credits

from The Indignity Disco, released August 6, 2010

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